On the ferry back from Büyükada

the setting sun’s soft rays
scarcely light the faces 
of my fellow weary travellers
sons joke with their fathers
daughters sleep on mothers’ laps
friends play faded playing cards  
with an envelope for the missing jack
here a toddler’s hand under his chin 
like a scholar there a family roars
with laughter eating sunflower seeds 
from a pink plastic bag 
we breathe the crisp marmara sea
together suddenly i loved you
despite your circus of violence 
i love you Humanity!
with all your many ifs 
and your many thens

Kamand Kojouri

your mouth corrupts me

“your mouth corrupts me
protests time
i found religion in those freckles
               & became a pilgrim
your infinite hands
        just so
meant for worship
come, 
        absolve me
               make me light, light”

Kamand Kojouri

your memory is hidden

“your memory is hidden 
in every thing that’s not me

even this lonesome cigarette 
and that crooked painting

i hear their laments
and invite them in

who am i to deny
their wretched destiny

we talk of you and sigh
there’s much too sighing 

then i close my eyes to dream
of your tender mercies

i didn’t kiss you enough”

Kamand Kojouri

my wish for the new year:

may we continue to drop our masks 
& unlearn our selves, to seek 
softness & grace, never to yield 
unless to beauty, to truth, to light 
like a flower. may we learn peace from 
trees & play from wild animals. may 
we belong to ourselves, & ourselves 
alone, & build communities where 
every woman is free, where we help 
one another & share with each other 
out of duty of compassion, out of love. 
may we end genocides everywhere 
& needless famine. may we remember 
we are guests in this world & our 
purpose is to walk each other home.

Kamand Kojouri

i loved you quietly

“i loved you quietly
wanting only 
to baptise you 
with light 
upon light
for the way you laugh
into your neck

in the courtyard 
of your dreams 
i loved you 
soft like satin wind
gliding 
across the river of music
and memory

i kissed the cherry trees
you crossed 
the scent of nostalgia
wild 
under warm vernal rain 
i danced
without a sound

i loved you solely you
between damp pages
of starlings and songs
while the moon wept 
i held you
like a holy yes
in my infinite solitude”

Kamand Kojouri

I may be here

“I may be here
in my study alone as God 
when your perfume invades me 
and everything becomes charged 
All that is holy and obscene 
between life and life 
brims with possibility and potential 
To love and be loved 
is to plant a tree for shade 
and find it also bears fruit 
I would be King 
were this a world where 
the currency 
was love”

Kamand Kojouri

“Who are you to refuse yourself?”

Kamand Kojouri

And I Roam

“And I roam the rainy alleys of your voice 
get lost in the forests of your eyes 
I yield to the city of your mouth 
and dream in the valley of your breast 
Oh to be this empty and this drunk 
to be this mortal and eternal at once 
Oh to forget and keep forgetting oneself 
—this is the only living”

Kamand Kojouri

You Are Here

“You are here
sitting in front of me 
but so are all your lovers
your friends
and family too
every person you’ve been in life with
is at our table drinking wine 
and I wonder
have we ever been alone? Truly 
alone? and how can this be
when I, too, don my tribe
like pearls when I wear
my people like perfume”

Kamand Kojouri

I don’t know

“I don’t know how you carry
an ancient knowing 
or why you smell like starry skies
and church.
Everything is human nature 
yet you are supernovas 
piercing night’s heart
with your wounds of light.

I don’t know when you learned 
to dance with God 
or why you paused to witness me.
Everything is eventual pain 
yet you are time suspended 
and blessings
constellating. 

I don’t know why this had to be
or why it couldn’t be anything
else. Everything is an unbearable
burden yet here you are,
my universe’s 
Amen.”

Kamand Kojouri